I have been single for some time now. Oh, I’ve gone on the occasional date, and sometimes even a second date. But due to a number of reasons, I haven’t “settled down” with anyone.
Most of the time, I enjoy being single. I’m an introvert—my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator type is INFJ (Introvert/iNtuition/Feeling/Judgement) and I score (90%) as a highly sensitive person. This means I’m the type of introvert who most of the time, prefers books and animals in a quiet, calm environment over being around people, particularly in a loud, overwhelming environment. In other words, you will find me at the library, but not at a dance club.
Let me pause here to clarify: Being alone does not mean one is lonely.But being single, like anything, can have its upsides and downsides. For instance, I can usually find a ticket to any show because there’s typically at least 1 random ticket available. But for me, the biggest downside to singledom is romance … or really, the lack thereof. As a singleton, there’s no one to cook me a delicious meal served by candlelight or take me on a picnic in the park.
Most of the time, this isn’t an issue. But every once in a while, I get an itch to get out my proper glassware, the candles, and do dinner all fancy. And so, feeling that way this weekend, I did just that. I made myself a lovely dinner, complete with candles and fancy beverage.
And you know what, even though I did all the cooking (and then the cleaning), when I sat down to eat, I really enjoyed my meal. Instead of rushing through eating or doing something else whilst eating (like watching TV or reading) like I normally do, I focused on my food. I took the time to savor what I had created, even though it wasn’t a complicated meal. I lingered and allowed myself to appreciate the ambiance (and yes, I did turn off the kitchen light and at by candlelight).
My point in sharing this is to encourage you to go and do things that you want. If you want a candlelight dinner, then make and enjoy one. If there’s a show you want to go see, go see it. If you need a spa day, then go! You don’t need to wait until some unknown time in the future when “everything is perfect” to do fun, even romantic-esque things. Even those of you in a relationship, you should still take the time to do some thing just for you.
My advice: Be open to spending time with by yourself. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it, and how much you’ll benefit from it.
So take time for you and allow you to spoil you. I am a firm believer that you must take care of yourself every once in a while in order to be the best you for everyone else. I assure you that it will make you a better spouse/partner/friend/parent/child. And even if you are single, you will be a better you who will be ready if the time should come you want to be part of a twosome.
Have you done something like this just for yourself? If not, why? And what would you like to do? Let me know in the comments below.