Today starts the last year of my 40s. Today I turned 49. Forty-nine. Four Nine. The end year of my 40s. Another decade of life nearly done.

It’s weird to think that in 365 days I will start a new life decade when I turn 50. Fifty. Fif-tee. The big 5-0. Five-Oh. A half century. No matter how I say it, or rather write it, it just seems, well, it seems a bit surreal or maybe unreal.

I’ve talked to my friend G about this. We’re about the same age. And in our heads, both of us think, or maybe feel, like we’re in our late-thirties. Why late-30s? I’m not sure.

Maybe it’s because it was in my late thirties when I first felt like I knew who I was and what I wanted.

When I look back on my twenties, I see that I was still trying to figure out who I was. How far I still had to go. In my then career, I was often the youngest in the room. Heck, in my twenties, I was in a career I didn’t even like because I hadn’t figured out who I was or what it was I actually wanted to do.

It wasn’t until my late-thirties that I felt comfortable in just being me. I had pivoted career-wise in my early thirties, and I had finally found who I was and what I wanted in life.

Now a decade later, from my late-30s to my late-40s, I’m once again looking around, comfortable with who I am, and trying to decide what’s next?

That’s an excellent question.

I can make a list of all the places I lived, the locations visited, the adventures had, the people met, the things accomplished, the books read, the puzzles completed, the mistakes made, the lessons learned. The list can go on and on. I can look back and list an entire decade’s worth of life and say, well that’s where I was and what I did.

Were my 40s what I expected? Not entirely. Then again, if you know me at all, you know I’m a bit of a pantser (and not just in writing). Because for me, being open to opportunity has lead to all sorts adventures.

So in some ways, looking back is helpful. It helps to review where I’ve been in order to frame where I want to go next. When I take stock of what I have done and what I still want to do. But while looking back is helpful, it doesn’t exactly provide a road map for where I should go next.

As I’ve written this post, and as I’ve thought about the last decade, and as I look to exit my 40s, I’ve decided to not dread the big five-oh. Rather, I’m going to be excited about entering a new decade of life (and also be grateful). Who says I can’t? Who says I can’t have new adventures? Who says I can’t do another pivot? Who says I can’t enjoy every single minute? No one. I’m the only person who can limit me. And I won’t limit myself because the gap between the current year and my birth year has gotten a little bit bigger.

So while I will take the next 365 days to squeeze the last bit of fun out of my 40s, I am also looking forward to the next chapter.

Here’s to my 49th year! Salut!